Parents can be respectful and show love to their children while they enforce rules; parents ask questions rather than make assumptions in a confrontation; and they can show sympathy while avoiding the temptation to fix problems that children are better off fixing themselves. And parents should let emotionally healthy kids get experience in bouncing back from failures themselves — it builds resiliency, an important ability that the child will need later in life. Those were some of the suggestions that a panel of experts gave in a recent public discussion, “Building Family Resilience in a World of Booze, Bongs and Benzos,” held in New Canaan. Three of the panelists live or live and work in Darien. As part of the presentation, a counselor and two New Canaan High School actors demonstrated in a series of skits toward the end of the panel presentation, Feb.